Bitch Moment

So a few days ago my sister and I were having a glass of wine and sharing gossip during happy hour, when a guy comes over and interrupts mid conversation asking my sister if her name is Romie. A lot more patient than I am, she says “no, it's not…that’s okay...have a good night”, while I look off in the opposite direction in my sarcastic expression.
Twenty minutes later, he returns with another guy and asks if it’s alright they join us. My sister’s polite rejection is obviously not working. So I go ahead and state the obvious, “We are having dinner.”
“Just you two?”
“Yes.” (No shit smart guy. I’m spending quality time with my sister and if you were paying any attention, you would see that we are in an intense conversation and interrupting is not only rude, it’s annoying. For one, we’re taller than both of you. For two, you didn’t grow in these twenty minutes. For three, we’re at APPLEBEE’S. Do you think we come out here to be hit on by some little boys with no game? If you are that close to someone and have to ask if she is someone you supposedly know, you apparently don’t know that person well enough to join them at dinner.)
I realize that’s bitchy and egotistical and unnecessary… and that’s why I didn’t say all of that. I’m aware that it takes a lot of courage to approach someone. That taking a chance should be encouraged blah blah, but you know what… it’s called using your best judgment. Some guys just aren’t good at decoding women. So here it is…

Do not hit on a woman if:
-She is at the gas station. We’re here because we have places to go.
-She is in distress. Car accident, parking ticket, flat tire, crying, yelling…I mean common, some of you are really that oblivious.
-She is working. Her time is precious and work is work.
-She is focused on something… reading a book, watching a game, listening to a friend’s story.
-She has her arms folded across her chest.
-She is walking in a fast pace. She is really walking away from you.

In other words, do not approach a woman at all. UNLESS she gives you eye contact and a smile. But if you just have to, need to, can’t help but to…well then

Do not talk about:
-The weather
-Asking her dumb questions like you already know her... Are you Cambodian? Is your name Romie? Do you come here often? Can I ask you a question?
-“You have pretty eyes.”=weak!

Here’s the tip:
-Be honest. Tell her you’re attracted to her and wanted a better look.
-Introduce yourself and ask her if you can buy her a drink.
-Ask her if she likes the song and if she would like to dance.

If she rejects, well then she just wasn’t interested. But at least she won’t be writing a blog about how lame you are, or laughing later with her friends.
Gosh, step it up!